KEEP LOVING HIM ... FOR YOUR SAKE

I attended a family gathering lately, and it was fun to see my old relatives still together - wrinkly, grey, saggy but so much happy. It was so amazing looking at them together as they try to do just about everything to win in the couple games for the party. In the midst of the laughter, embraces and fun, I got the chance to chat to one of my aunts. She started to talk about those days when she and my uncle were still starting a family.


"You witnessed how I had to do all the chores at home and took care of our four children at the same time", she started. "There were times that I cried because I was so tired and I can't ask your uncle to help me at home. He is truly a responsible and efficient office worker but ohhhhh not at home. Definitely not a help at home." My aunt kept on reminiscing those times in between laughs. Their relationship is not flawless but having the better of each other made them stick together. In their senior years, they are still very happy, traveling to so many places, now that their kids have successful lives of their own.

 Some might argue that time has already changed. So many people live apart and it is already normal nowadays - rising number of broken families, single dads and single moms. Most people breaking up would usually keep their pride and say "he doesn't deserve me." However, though many might disagree, breaking up with him is way more painful than persevering his naughty character. Leaving him right after knowing that he just had so many girlfriends in his life besides you might be the first impulse you jump into, but admit it, it is quite devastating also on your part.

So instead of going through the pain and all, persevere, and understand a little bit more until it doesn't hurt anymore. I was confiding to a good friend a few years ago. I complained about my partner. Then I was deciding at that time to leave him. My friend replied, "Give him another chance.... for your sake." My friend knew how much I loved my partner. And she knew that my life will be ruined without him. So I did, I tried to stick up with him with so many downs than ups.

I persevered when he started to make excuses of not being around or out of touch. He would just say, "I don't know but suddenly the network does not allow my call to you anymore. I stopped asking why he can't talk to me and I just say OK when he says he is just so busy with a lot of things in life. Once he told me to fight for our love in times when he is lured by other women. When I did, he just called me drama factory.

I stopped talking much when he started telling me he doesn't read my messages because they were too long. I also tried to fit in and sent one or two word answers (just to make sure he isn't annoyed).

I never did insist on celebrating anniversaries anymore after he said it was just a day. And those times he doesn't even remember calling to greet me on my birthday. I also stopped greeting him on any other occasion just to show him I understood that nothing is special anyway.

He seldom said 'I love you' and so I need to limit mine too. I don't really want to cause any argument. There are so many incidents that would tell me, he already fell out of love. 

courtesy of Bonobology

Those times, I never stopped asking him nicely to let me go. 

I made it in the gentlest way I could think of. I explained why we should set each other free and every time he would say he loves me very much. Every time I got hurt with  a lot of things he did but the hurt gets less and less painful. Until comes the time that he never called, and I just thought he is already totally gone from my life.

So, instead of feeling so much hurt by breaking up, regardless on who dumped who, try to persevere. Others might say that it is a complete waste of time to be with this kind of partner. Some might say, ladies having this principle in life are martyrs and there are no such people in the recent millennium. When you truly love someone, it is definitely hard to let go. I will consider it a miracle if he changes his heart and will be very grateful but I will be okay if doesn't. Keep loving him for your sake, and as you go through all of his signs of fading away, learn to be stronger, and think about yourself. That time will come when he will be gone, and you can smile and say "Welcome back" to yourself. Then you don't need to blame yourself of not doing your best to keep him - you don't need to be guilty of not loving enough.

courtesy of ArtStation

HOW TO ENTICE YOUR MAN THIS VALENTINES

Men would always be the one working on a sweeter Valentine’s experience for the women. However, they come short of planning and making the experience more memorable. I mean, they do make the 14^th really meaningful and full of love but they would act like a usual guy all the other days before it. So this time, its the ladies' turn to perk up the occasion by working on the 8 days before Valentine’s. These ideas would need careful planning although it would not cost much, preparation time is what you would need. Make the thought and action count more than giving him a present this time.

courtesy of Etsy

7^th February: Send him a small card asking him to be your valentine. When you meet on that day, act casual but before he leaves, hand him a small card, stay with him as he opens it, face him and look intently through his eyes while he reads your message. Stay quiet, like no expression and just wanting to know his answer. If he teases you and says no, don’t break your stare at him and remain silent like your life depends on his yes.

8^th of February: Because you just got his yes the other night. Be the first one to post to his timeline how happy you feel to be his valentine. Be creative and work on sparks or anything available. This should be posted an hour or more before he wakes up so you got the time to answer to friends’ comments and he can read all these when he wakes up.

9^th February: This is the day when you get to send a post to him. Have a hand written card posted to him at work. Have the address like a fictitious sweet place like 143 Loverslane, Sunset Blvd or Loveland, XOXO Ave. Enclose in the card a photo you had with him. Remind him of that time you took that photo and how happy you were.

10^th February: Get up early and head to his home. Pick him up and drop him to work. Make sure that before doing this, he is really going to work and not to some conference or seminar somewhere else. You can give him the heads up a few minutes before you arrive. Give him a call and tell him you are on the way to pick him up for work. Take some newly baked doughnuts and hot coffee then tell him you got his breakfast handled. Before dropping him at work. Tell him you are going to pick him up later after work.

11^th February: This day falls on a weekend for 2018. You have more time to arrange a movie with him. Rather than watching a movie in the theater, it will be more appreciated if you bring the movie to his home. Prepare the popcorn and drinks as well. This is a movie he likes watching and though you are less interested in the kind of movie, just stay with him and intently watch it.

12^th February: Record a short video of you singing your favorite love song. Send this video to him on his break time at work. Select that time when you know that he is busy or already stressed out. Make him laugh and feel how relieving to see you on those moments he is already tired.

courtesy of Foodal

13^th February: Bring him lunch at work. If you have time, it would even be sweeter if you cook the lunch you are bringing for him. Take along candles and elegant wears. An hour like this in his office will be magical.

14^th February: Wake him up with a call about half an hour before he gets up. Ask him not to stand up or prepare for work yet. Let him lie on bed and just tell him things you love about him. Make it sweet but not lusty. Keep him thrilled to meet you on your Valentine’s date. Then it will be his turn to let you know just how much he loves you.

A little effort from you to make Valentine's day worth remembering. Do things which would make him realize that he made the right choice of having you in his life. 

HOW TO START ANEW THIS 2018

The holidays are over and time to set up a new you. This could mean working on  another set of New Year's resolution or upgrading your old one; having a total make over of not just yourself but also your lifestyle; and so much more.

I started reviewing my old list of plans, which I had it entitled "10 Year Deadline". This is a list of my things to accomplish at a 10-year period which has dropped down to 9 this 2018. My review came as a motivation (although I take everything as "motivation" nowadays). I didn't make well last year as it was the year of my daughters' graduations (primary and secondary) which means I need to at least give them some presents. One asked for a DLSR and the other required to have another desktop, different from their cash rewards. These presents already cost me the down payment for my supposed to be investment which I also started the same year. Needless to say, I am still down to around three-quarters of all those installments I need to complete in two more years.

From this financial realization, I need to be certain this time that I can focus to those things which need paying. There are no one graduating this year anyway so I can definitely attend to my investments.

These are those things I tried to work on these past few days:

1. LIST DOWN HOW YOU SPEND YOUR MONEY. I usually print a list of things I need to pay per payday. This list would prioritize my daughters' allowance, bills to pay, credit card dues, daughters' braces adjustment, food, and I still get to place 500php to my bank every month. I usually would add the mount to the credit card due when I deposit to the bank. Practically my first half of the month pay will be totally consumed. Nevertheless, I got more freedom budgeting on how much I can pay on my investments on the second half.

2. PRACTICE BULK BUYING. I do practice bulk buying with my kids. This is the day when all of us will walk to the grocery; pick everything we needed for at least 2 months; grab a taxi and done. Our list of groceries includes toiletries to food until snacks like chips and soda. We have one complete door of just junk food in the cupboard. I also would take a few packs of processed food and stock them in the freezer. These are good for rush morning routines when children go to school. My girls don't like to buy lunch so they get theirs packed and their lunch money are saved.

3. STAY FRUGAL. I have so may tips on how to work on your daily expenses and I will be posting it on my next blog. It is not an excuse that the cupboard is overwhelmed with chips that my girls are allowed to eat as often as they want. We usually open one when we have our bonding time as we watch movies at home after the day's work. This is usually over the weekends after we finish our chores.

4. REVIEW WAYS TO CHECK ON WAYS TO EARN INCOME ON THE SIDE. Even as I work on two part time jobs, I still get to check out where I can increase my output especially on free time. Working in the school is indeed time consuming as the job extends to preparing for the lesson and checking cumbersome test papers every now and then. On the other hand my proofreading job is time consuming just the same as one need to sit down and read writing per writing to meet the daily quota.
Anyhow, with all these tasks on hand, one glance at my "10 Year Deadline" will keep me going and looking for more.

My "10 Year Deadline" is posted just on top of my desktop so I can look at it everytime. Those times when I felt tired working, I only raise my head up to ease the tension, and a glance at my list will invigorate me to get back to work. Another tip is to check on videos pushing you to work harder. Youtube has videos from Robert Kiyosaki, Dave Ramsey and the others which are so motivating. As I always advise my girls, "If you are tired working, it is OK to work slow, but never stop."